To provide some context; I am currently in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia and my partner is in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada – we’re 16,286km apart and varying from 14hrs-16hrs of time difference. We’ve been together for 4.5yrs and approximately 2.5yrs have been long distance. Every day is a challenge but we always wake up excited to talk to each other!
Love, love, love – what is love? after swiping left and right, buying them a drink and/or no longer being the nice guy; this Canvas story begins after the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. Now that you have a partner, how do you make this relationship last? This is the endurance race, the marathon and The Self-Transcendence 3100 race (look it up) all together!
Now that you’ve made it through a week, a month, a year – your partner is relocating for work in a different city. What do you do?!?
We all know of failed long distance relationships but I think I can help you beat the odds and build a healthier, happier and more engaging relationship. Regardless of the distance, the time zone or lack of physical intimacy, long distance is achievable!
Long distance relationships are not easy but it is do-able. The golden rule of any relationship is communication and because of the distance, this is first and foremost the most important tip. Call, text, Skype, Whatsapp, Facetime, etc, etc – there are endless mediums to keep connected. A simple morning text or an evening voice note goes a long way. It’s back to basics with this tip but it can be easily overlooked especially when some say “out of sight, out of mind”. It’s important just to let them know that you’re thinking about them.
Secondly, establish expectations – expectations of how often you chat to when you will see each other next. Both parties must be reading from the same line, in the same chapter and in the same book. This does not mean you should be rigid and lose spontaneity but keep some aspects of your relationship consistent and reliable.
Thirdly, you will need to progress and develop. Long distance is not an excuse to leave a relationship stagnate and expire. Use this time professionally and personally to mature and to ensure that the relationship is moving along. Set relationship goals and benchmarks when you’re with each other and when you’re not. Keeping that love train moving along is crucial.
All in all, I hope you found this useful – food for thought and by no means is this an exhaustive list or a guarantee. Relationships are as complicated as someone trying to describe a colour.
Caveat: No two relationships are ever the same, however, below are three best practices that I feel extremely help.
1) Communicate - Leverage modern-day technologies to stay connected
2) Expectations - Get on the same page (e.g., how often to talk or visit)
3) Progress - It’s one thing to set relationship goals, another to do it
Be sure to follow Jon (@apertureadv_co) on his adventures!